18 MONTHS and a few weeks to go..

It has been 18 months, and 18 months that will soon be just another blink of time.  Through these many and I mean many days that have passed I have cried, stressed, worried and have been blessed.  I also through out of these ups and downs gained and lost. My heart was broken and sad through losing someone I deeply cared about.  I will forever in my heart never stop loving her nor forget her. And I pray one day things would someday be again.

Our Little Man "JAKE"

As I check and recheck the cost of flights I soon discover nothing stays the same. Prices only continue to rise and as time is clicking away so are these days that have passed.  I want to start calling Zack by his new name. "JAKE" Named after my father in law James and father Kenneth.  So we combined them both and as a nickname "JAKE" we decided on.  Not just a name but a new beginning for our precious SON.  As the word son rolls off my tongue and through my lips such a great feeling just saying this word.

In just a few days the youngest of our babies is turning five years old. Little Jake will once again have another Birthday, his fifth one in an orphanage. Once again this will be just another day for him.  Praying his orphanage does something to let him know this is his Birthday and also he will soon has his new family there in bringing him home. I learn that many times with funds most orphanages are unable to give these children the little extras.

Jake is non-verbal so he does not speak. From time to time he may try and make a sound but usually he is quiet but he is observes everything around him. I recall in one visit he pointed at some birds and smiled.  It was one of the first times I saw him happy.  During the first visit it seem he was so sad and pale.  I thought to myself what would his life be like if he would remain?  Knowing first he would be separated once again from siblings and then alone.  Both him and his sister have other siblings.  I do not know anything about them but they were healthy and kept.   Jake is a very sweet and loving little man and I can tell he needs some one on one attention.  At age 4 years he started walking and like a small toddler he tip toes from one end to another with hands in the air. Jake loves to be held. It seems during our visits arms in the air for Patrick.  For some reason he just attached to Patrick.  Bonded as Brothers during first visit.  I know once home these two will be buddy and buddy forever.


I have decorated our kitchen in Mickey Mouse and when he comes home we will celebrate his Birthday. I found a Mickey Mouse for him to have sitting on his bed waiting for him.  Daily as I walk through the house I try and not stop by their rooms because it only upsets me during this wait. It has been hard so hard to a point I prayed to where my knees ache.  My heart ached.. I know our Lord will watch over them both but as a Momma I only worry. I worry whether they ate or are they healthy today. CF is not a illness to take lightly. I have spent most of these months in study.  I have been trained and both Gary and I are prepared to deal with any issue they may arrive with their health needs.  Their adjustment I pray will be a good one.  I know at first there will be times through pass adoptions this is not something a family should rush. I want these children to learn we will always be there.  But with almost 6 months between visits I know they will wonder why we left them after the last visit.  The one part of our adoption I hated this phase of waiting.  I can not express to others doing an adoption to prepare your heart for days of worries and pain. For I can tell you this was not easy and this adoption was probably the worse adoption I had to worry with.  I worried on funds, paperwork, timing you name it.  This was not easy nor will I ever forget these days that passed.  In the next weeks to come I have to arrange travel date. But this can only be done after we are cleared by our agency to travel.  All agency fees are now made.  Only Airline, hotel fees we need to worry with.  I once again ask our Lord for the final needs for this.  I also pray his time passes quickly.

Back to my biggest heartache. I pray once again for my heart to heal with the lost a piece that has been broken away.  A section that I have grieved on and miss. This is something I will always cry over and over with.  No matter how many days should pass I will never feel the same. In life we find someone we become very dear to. And sometimes things happen and sad to say like a death it can be easily take from one. Praying really hard that our Lord finds away to add in some comfort..

During these last weeks before travel I ask everyone share our blog and ask everyone to please purchase a Adoption Rock.  These little Orphan Babies are helping us in bringing in the last funds we need for airline tickets and travel.  Again I ask for prayers and good health for all my family and friends during this last of this hard winter... Amen