These photos were taken 2 years ago during Patrick's Big Day. This day we set aside to remember how much this one child has fought to survive. The orphanage director had read us Patrick's file when he arrived and it showed during his arrival to the hospital he weighted a mire pound and this was with a blanket. The Day we met Patrick he weighed under 8 pounds and was mainly a handful of skin and bones covered in Staph. Not a pretty pretty site to see for all I could see was those big brown eyes. He laid still and not one did he cry or move. Daily I would walk to his small crib where he laid between 3 other little girls. The only boy surrounded by 3 other little girls. Each day I would pick each child up and rock them but one by one they had all died. On one particular day I was holding one little girl which I named Hope and she took her last breath. Little by little her breath slowed down as well as my heart had. I think during this one time in my life I had learned I will never be the same person. This was not the first time I held someone as they had died nor was this the first time I lost someone this small. Several years ago I had twins and I was very ill. I had deliver my small son and daughter and they die shortly after birth. Neither child I was able to hold nor did I get to see. There were no photos taken while I laid asleep. I was told they did not know if I was going die also so they decided it would be best to just use this time in prayer. It was not my time to leave this precious earth and as I grieved for my two small babies I knew our Lord had plan something else for my life. In my heart I remember each of the bumps at nights from them and I cherish this. I still have packed away blankets I had made for them. And one day I will get to hold them in my arms. This one little girl Hope I had prayed and prayed for. I ask our Lord to please help her and to give her this one chance. Like most orphans all they need is one chance some HOPE. But again for little Hope it was not to be. But her dying made me realize life is as precious as we make it and each and everyday we must cherish our children. As I carefully handed this little girl over to a caregiver. My arms seem to not want to let go as if I was giving away her only chance at a family. If only we had came a little sooner. Sometimes time and love can make a difference. I advocate for Adoption. Not only advocate I try and educate those with their hearts in adopting or incourage others to supporting adopting families. Not one orphan child I have ever met wanted to be an orphan. I could imagine the pain these children feel daily as they wait and die.
When my husband Gary and I decided to adopt it was not because we did not have children. We did he had 2 from a prior marriage and I had my 4 living children here on earth and my little ones in Heaven with their father. A few years after the death of my children I also lost my husband Tim. It seemed during this time I was to feel pain and it was a very hard time for my family. I can not complain because I was bless to have been apart of each of them and was able to love them. Sometimes life does not promise you forever nor did it promise happiness. We must take each day and love each day. I wonder often how do we know when we die? Will we be able to say goodbye with our hearts or leave part of them behind? I often think when my own mother had passed away it was she left her love with me to share with others. And this is one thing about my own mother I will always be thankful for knowing how to love and share love.
Not all people should parent and not all women should conceive a child. There are some women and men that do not consider a life before it is actually born. But from my heart I can share this will others my two babies I loved and whether they died in my womb or out of my womb they were the most precious gift our Lord has allow me to have. I will cherish the memories of their movements. I do not understand how a woman could end her own child's life. It is hard enough for me to drive by a dog or cat that had gotten ran over without crying. And a baby oh God when I pass Kings Highway there is an Abortion Clinic it is called Hope Medical. Why the word Hope I will never know. Because I would love to know where the Hell is the hope for this child that has been killed. Across from it my husband worked each day and each day I dropped him off for work I cried for these babies. I wonder what these women were thinking? As my own daughter Samantha worries about carrying her child to full term another woman kills her own baby. I pray for each and every baby, I also pray for these women for their selfishness.
Later on today I will post a few updated photos this evening of Patrick and the children. I was not trying to get off subject but Patrick fought to live and when I think of the years I worked my bottom off to keep him alive I get sick knowing others just do not care. I love my son, I love each of my children. Not a one child I love more than the other. I would die before I would give up on my child or children. I would fight and do just what our Lord expected of me to do. Not a day goes by I do not pray for each child and fight for them to be healthy. And during this fight I am never alone for I am holding hands with our Lord. Not a day goes by he is not there nor has he not be there for me or my family. On this beautiful St. Patrick Day I ask you to give that one extra hug and kiss for your child. Call you parents tell them you love them. Not only tell them share how much they have meant to you. One day we will and may not have this chance again.
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| JUST THREE MORE DAYS :o) |
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