Waiting for Court

It feels as if it is more than a court date that I may have lost.Two precious children which we have grown to love we may lose.  Why because of not having the funds to bring them both home. Knowing that without the final funds we may have a delay in receiving a court hearing.  And we are still not sure exactly will take place until a court date is set. Again it is lack of not having enough funds when needed them and this could have us lose our children. And back they will once again sit on a list and wait.  After all the paperwork, all the worries and all the prayers it would be over.  No children to hold and no parents for our children.  This will be heart breaking for our family.  Not only having to update paperwork if there is a delay court date and starting paperwork all over would be costly.  The cost alone would be to much or our family to do and still yet now we have to raise the final travel fees.  Again should we not receive a date we will have to keep reassuring our agency's Board of Directors we are working hard on obtaining their fees.

Our family has came this far and these are our children and we can not walk away from them.  As a piece of our heart it will be like a death within our family.  Never will the other children get to hold or love these children.  They will remain and suffer through this illness of CF.

I know our Lord has plans but it is so difficult to know no matter how hard we worked it may not happen.
Why because lack of enough funds and not being able to secure them in time to continue.  I spoke with our agency and also our attorney and we were told we should be able to proceed or a court hearing.  This way we may be a little late bringing them home but they will be home.  It worries me that I know feel I somehow out of not my fault we had to use funds towards our children's medical travels and bills.  So now we are trying once again to save and figure away to get the remainder of agency fees.  Then work on travel fees to bring them both home.

 OH how I hate the lack of money when needed.  Especially when you save and save.  I cut corners on alot of things.  I make a lot of my children's clothes and toys.  My husband and I never purchase anything for ourselves only the children. It will work out I know, but in my head I ache thinking why did everything around me happen to start to go wrong. Not being my fault nor my children getting ill and then still yet it we have to start once again saving.. Much like a Louisiana Tornado which had came out of no where everything we work for is gone and leaving a lot of damage.  In this situation some people would give up and move. Others would rebuilt and others may sit and cry.  Okay now this is me, I have cried, I am looking around my home filled with small photos of these two children.  IF you know me I am one not to walk away and forget that I once held them both in my arms? Should I give up if a court date not be set?  And from this one Momma I just can not.  I would not give up this easy and have to fight and fight for these children.

I spoke with a friend tonight and she is also adopting but waiting to see her child.  She also has a road block in her adoption, like me she cried and is worried. As I spoke to her I tried to reassure her that everything would work out.  And to always keep Faith in our Lord.  For he will provide and he will guide.  As the words rolled off my tongue which has not drank water for days or ate I told her this:
 "Our Lord has placed his obstacle in our paths, or maybe the Devil in his hateful ways of hurting those who follow in our Lord's Footsteps."  For me with the lack of  funds & a friend with the lack of one piece of paperwork both our adoptions can end. 

As difficult as things may seem at this one moment I learned a very valuable lesson in love and friendship.  In a matter of just two days their were my friends who were there.  Not only there but help lift me up like an angel carrying me over these financial worries.  They helped raise over $2,000 in funds yet this is still not enough to cover everything.  But it will help not just with funds but with the stress of just worrying. 
All of these funds that have been raised this week will  be sent PRIORITY MAIL SUNDAY MORNING.
I will make a copy of this check to show Braska and Zack once they are older of how so many people cared about the both of them.

I will go through my home and collect every nickle, dime or penny and add this in a separate check to my agency.. This way I can work to help release these children from their ransom o living in an orphanage.  Oh how I hate to know we almost were at the point where funds ended our dream of parenting these children.
Over and Over I could kick myself in worry to where I feel so sick inside.  Oh Lord, I do not want money to be the cause of losing our children.  Especially when we fought so darn hard to get where we are to bringing them home.  I love these kids and I promised both of them we will be back and bring them home. With the oldest child he is so skinny and his bones show under his pants.  He needs his momma and poppa to hold and love him.  We will be there through every need and offer as any parent security of a home, family and endless love.

Okay so much for me preaching and griping about funds.  Because I am going work through this and find away to get them here quickly without delays.  We will not let them wait any longer and suffer in pain.  For their illnessCF is a difficult and painful illness to have.  I need  to close so I may pray and pray without distractions.  I have spent the last couple of months with one major life event after another.  So much happening out of my control and so I will pray and pray again.

I ask with each and every post as I come to an end with a good bye I  tell others to share our Adoption Blog not just for funds or prayers but just maybe it will open others eyes to adopt. If just one person reads my blog and adopt then it is one child saved. Oh Lord, I pray no other children live their entire lives waiting and then watching as their friends or siblings leave.  And Lord, I also pray for the ones that remain they are not cold or suffer.  And to the ones that are released on the streets alone they find comfort.  I pray for the ones who die before they are loved that they are remember not as a number. 

For 12 years I help write dossier for Ukraine.  Some nights I would sit up very late in the night assisting other families.  There were days I had little or no sleep but yet I helped all who ask for my help.  Again>>I made no money nor did I ask or any.  I figured I helped one family with the adoption of one orphan children find a home it would share their story and adoption with others.  And soon others would follow like it has.  Believe me I could be wealthy by all means and the money was not an issue. All I wanted was to see a child have a chance, a chance at a home and parents.  No amount of money is worth this and no matter how poor one may become it is a true blessing to see a child loved.  Each day I ask our Lord to give me the same blessing in return.. I ask him to help our family continue our adoption without any delays or due to lack of funds.  I pray for the funds daily to pay off these children's fees so I do not feel like a beggar.  But if that is what it takes at this moment I lay y knees on the floor and beg.

TODAY>>As I throw a penny into a water fountain at a hospital I made a wish.  Usually I give the coins or pennies to my children and have them wish.  Not only do I wish but I also pray that one day there will be no orphans and no child should ever be without a parent.  Also I pray each child ill be cured and may my children be cured.  IN our Lord's name I pray for this strength and his wisdom to carry and follow his words.  May I be strong and find away to bring these little ones home. Amen